INT. DAVE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Two men in their early 20s are sitting around the living room. DEVIN PARKS, who speaks as if he’s ablaze and walks like there’s a sale. DEVIN compensates for his balding head with a long goatee; and MITCH GIBBONS, who sports a chiseled face and ripped arms. He is God’s gift to women yet he’s somehow humble enough to be likable.
DEVIN and MITCH are playing video games; beer bottles are everywhere in an apartment that is decorated in leftover college furniture and jam band posters.
DEVIN
Look ladies, it’s the lawn boy!
DAVE
Tired of that shit.
DEVIN
Bad day at the office, cutter?
DAVE
What’d you do today, dipshit?
DEVIN
You’re looking at it. (BEAT) It’s Saturday, dawg.
MITCH
Dawg. (LAUGHS)
DAVE
I’ll be running this place soon and your punk ass will be paying rent.
DEVIN
You’ve been mowing the grass all day while I’ve been getting my drink on!
DAVE
I need a shower.
DAVE goes to the bathroom, sound of: SHOWER. MITCH pauses the video game as DEVIN looks at him annoyed.
MITCH
(To DEVIN) You should really give the guy a break, man.
DEVIN
What?
MITCH
All that lawn boy stuff? (Beat) He hates that.
DEVIN
Well jeez, don’t I feel like a douche-bag?
DEVIN drinks his beer as if it’s nothing. MITCH shakes his head slightly annoyed.
DEVIN (CON’T)
You’re serious?
MITCH
Yeah, dude’s been bustin’ his ass.
DEVIN
Stan needs to get his poop in a group and retire.
MITCH
I know I wouldn’t want to mow lawns and evict people waiting for my old man to retire.
DEVIN
But Mitch, he’s set once Stan takes off.
MITCH
If you call managing some apartment complex “set” then you need to dream a little bigger.
MITCH motions for DEVIN to be quiet, as DAVE emerges dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.
MITCH
(To DAVE) That was quick.
DEVIN
(To DAVE) Damn, son, you use soap in there?
DAVE
Where we going tonight?
MITCH
Maloney’s?
DEVIN
Too many frat boy douche-bags.
MITCH
Monte Vee?
DEVIN nods his head yes.
DAVE
I gotta get some things done around here first.
—
